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By OK Tease Co.
You Keep Asking Why, and the Sky Stays Quiet You said it out loud in the car last week. Not a fancy prayer, just a plain one. Why is this happening, why...
You said it out loud in the car last week. Not a fancy prayer, just a plain one. Why is this happening, why now, why me, and the answer never came.
That silence is one of the hardest things a woman carries. Not the hard season itself, but the not-knowing. The wondering if there's any point to what you're pushing through, or if you're just white-knuckling it for nothing.
I want to sit with you in that quiet for a minute before I say anything else about it.
Here's what nobody tends to say when you're in it. A quiet sky and an empty one are not the same thing.
You've been taught, somewhere along the way, that faith is supposed to feel like clarity. Like if you were doing it right, you'd get a sign, a warm feeling, a reason that made the whole thing click into place. So when the reason doesn't come, you assume you've been forgotten.
But the version of faith that actually carries a woman through a hard season is not the tidy one. It's not the one where everything makes sense and you can trace God's hand on a timeline. It's the version where you can't see the reason yet and you keep going anyway.
That's the whole thing. That's the part they don't put on a mug.
People throw that phrase around like it's easy. Trust the process. As if trust is a switch you flip and then you feel peaceful.
It isn't. Trusting a process you can't see the end of, while you're tired and stretched and doing it mostly alone, is one of the bravest things a person can do. It costs you something every single day you choose it.
You're paying that price already, whether or not anyone notices. Getting up. Making the lunches.
Showing up to the thing you didn't want to show up to. That's what trust looks like in real life, not a feeling, but a foot put down in front of the other when you have no proof it leads anywhere good.
I think about the woman who's at the very bottom of it right now, the one who doesn't know which way to turn. If you'd asked her whether any of this was leading somewhere, she'd have laughed at you.
And then, months down the line, something shifts. Not because the sky finally spoke. Because she kept moving while it was quiet, and the moving changed her.
Life turns around for a woman the minute she starts turning it around for herself. That's not a promise the clouds part. It's that the strength you're building in the silence is the thing you couldn't see was the point all along.
The reason wasn't out there waiting to be handed to you. It was getting built in you the whole time.
This is going to sound like a strange turn, but stay with me. When the why won't come and your head won't quiet down, the fastest door back to yourself is not more thinking. It's moving.
I move even when my head says no, and I do it for one reason. It works on me almost right away. Fifteen minutes of walking or lifting or sweating does something to the mental part that no amount of sitting and asking why ever has for me.
The physical is the door into the mental. That's just been true in my own life.
Your body is the only one you get, and movement is a stress reliever before it's ever about how you look. On the days the answer stays hidden, taking care of the one temple you've got is a thing you can actually control. Sometimes that's enough to get you to tomorrow.
If you're a mom, you're not doing this in private. There are little eyes on you the whole time.
They don't see the theology of it. They don't need to. They see you carry something heavy without a reason yet and keep getting up anyway.
They watch you go down into the deep of a hard season and come back up above it, and that quietly becomes what strength looks like to them.
That's the full circle nobody claps for. You overcome it, you're better for it, and they saw every part of it. You're not failing in front of them on the hard days.
You're showing them what a woman does when the answer is late.
There are more women praying the same why into the same silence than you'd ever guess. Women who get up strong on the days they don't feel like it, who hold on without the reason yet, who keep going on faith and stubbornness in equal measure.
That's the register OK Tease Co. speaks in, one woman who's been through it talking straight to a woman who's in it right now. Not talking down, not pretending it's easy, not handing you a tidy bow. Just reminding you that you're seen, and that the quiet doesn't mean you've been left.
Keep asking why if you need to. Ask it as loud as you want. But keep moving while you ask, because the answer, when it comes, tends to look a lot like the woman you became while you waited for it.
She was worth every silent day it took to build her.
You've got this. Even now. Especially now.