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By OK Tease Co.
You Keep Asking God Why Her and Not You She posted the thing you've been praying for. The new place, the good news, the easy season, the thing that fell...
She posted the thing you've been praying for. The new place, the good news, the easy season, the thing that fell into her lap while you've been up before the sun handling everything by yourself. And you were happy for her for about four seconds before the other feeling showed up, the one you don't say out loud.
Why her and not you.
You can love someone and still ask that question. You can mean your prayers and still feel like they're hitting the ceiling and coming back down. That's not a lack of faith.
That's just being honest about what it feels like to wait while someone else gets the thing first.
Here's what nobody tells you about watching someone else get your answer. It doesn't feel like jealousy at first. It feels like proof.
Proof that it works for other people and not for you, that you must have missed something, that maybe you're the exception.
You start keeping score. She got it in half the time. She didn't even work as hard.
She complained the whole way and still landed soft.
And the longer you stare at her life, the smaller yours gets. That's the real cost of the comparison, not the envy itself but what it does to your own vision. You can't see your own road when your head is turned sideways watching hers.
Somewhere in the comparing, a lie slips in. That there's a limited amount of good to go around, and she just took your share of it.
That's not how any of this works. Her yes didn't cancel yours. Her timing has nothing to do with your timing.
The fact that her season turned does not mean yours won't, it means seasons turn, which is the whole thing you've been holding onto.
Part of trusting God's process is trusting that He's not running out. Not out of answers, not out of good things, not out of attention for you specifically.
The easy version of faith says everything happens for a reason and you'll understand it later. The real version is harder. The real version is you cannot see the reason yet, it does not feel fair, and you keep going anyway.
That's the kind of faith that actually holds weight. Anybody can trust the process when the process is going their way. Trusting it while you're watching someone else cross the finish line you've been crawling toward, that's the version that builds something in you.
And it is building something, even when it feels like standing still.
Think about the single mom who kept showing up through a long stretch where nothing moved. The bills she wasn't sure she'd cover, the mornings she got everyone out the door alone, the nights she steeled herself for another day of it. Then life turned, not because she finally got lucky, but because she kept turning it around for herself while she waited.
That's the part the comparison hides from you. The woman getting her answer sooner isn't ahead of you. She's just on a different timeline, and yours is doing work on you that hers didn't require of her.
You don't know what she's carrying that you aren't. You don't know what you're being built into that she didn't need to become.
You cannot control when your answer comes. You can control where you're looking while you wait for it.
Stop auditing her life for a minute and look at what's actually in front of you. The things you've handled this week alone. The body that's still carrying you through all of it, which is the only one you get, so you move it and take care of it even on the days you'd rather not.
The kids watching you keep going, learning without a single word what it looks like to not quit.
That is not nothing. That is the whole thing, actually, the part that no answered prayer could have handed you.
God knew what He was doing when He made the woman. She comes back stronger after every setback, she keeps going as a mom, a daughter, a sister, a friend, without the breaks everyone assumes she's getting. You are one of those women whether you feel like it right now or not.
So when the comparison creeps in, and it will, you don't have to shame yourself for feeling it. Feel it, name it, and then turn your head back toward your own road. The one that's harder.
The one that's building something in you that you'll be grateful for later, even if you can't picture it today.
This is the whole heart of the community over at OK Tease Co., a bunch of women who've asked that same unfair question and kept walking anyway. You are not behind. You are not the exception.
You are not forgotten.
Her answer came. Yours is coming too, and when it does, it'll be shaped for the woman you became while you waited, not the one you were when you started asking.